Lots of couples believe that their dwindling sex lives are not typical or that their relationship must have serious flaws when their passion dwindles.

The truth is, in reality many marriages aren’t what many might perceive them to be, the vast majority are sexless marriages. Statistics on sexless marriage provide an easy way for many couples to gauge where they fit into the grand scheme of things.

They may also be helpful in illuminating the deeper issues which, over time, cause couples to drift emotionally and sexually. This piece will provide an overview of new statistics and data concerning sexless marriages, definitions given by experts in the field and some statistics that will put many couples’ situations into perspective.

This guide is part of our complete resource on understanding sexless marriages.

What Is Considered a Sexless Marriage?

Before analyzing statistical data and trends it is useful to clarify what defines a sexless marriage to relationship researchers. A sexless marriage, according to most research methods, describes a marriage in which a couple has sex no more than 10 times in one year.

Many studies use this general definition in discussions concerning intimacy and long-term relationships, as do numerous discussions about relationships in general. However, a simple statistic can hardly encompass all the unique scenarios that marriages present, especially in terms of emotional connection. Sometimes a relationship that lacks sex is actually emotionally intimate, or a couple with high amounts of sex feels deeply unloved and disconnected.

If more in-depth information about the definition of sexless marriage would be beneficial you can always check our extensive definition of the term.

How Common Are Sexless Marriages?

Statistically speaking, many married couples are indeed sexless. Recent studies on sexless marriages show that a significant majority of long-term relationships lose their spark over the years. There has been multiple large studies done in the last decade or so, and the statistics remain consistently the same.

A whopping 15 to 20% of all marriages are sexless.

According to the General Social Survey, between 15 and 20% of married men and women claim that their marriage is sexless in terms of frequency. Millions of couples report little to no sexual activity yearly in these partnerships. According to an analysis on trends in relationships by The Atlantic published in 2020, modern relationships now experience an increasing lack of intimacy.

Sexual Frequency in Modern Marriages

Most relationship statistics point to a steady decrease in sexual frequency in long-term relationships. A large study conducted and published in Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2021 determined that on average married couples typically have sex 50-60 times per year, about once a week. These figures are taken across all ages and relationship statuses of marriage. In long-term relationships, these statistics dip considerably for many. Several issues contribute to this dip in statistics:

• work and family responsibilities

• stress levels

• parenting

• medical conditions

• problems in communication

There are numerous other factors that can cause long-term couples to drift apart emotionally and sexually. In our detailed piece on “Why Do Marriages Become Sexless,” these issues are explored in depth.

Sexless Marriages Are More Common in Long-Term Relationships

The higher the number of years married, the higher the chance of becoming sexless, this is a proven trend. The Institute for Family Studies provided a report in 2022 that explained married couples who have been married over ten years were much more likely to describe themselves as being sexless. Statistics are similar in all countries and cultures researched.

Time, daily stressors, communication issues and busy schedules all contribute to slow-moving emotional and sexual distance.

Age and Sexless Marriage Statistics

As in most trends, age has its place. A study published in The Journal of Sex Research in 2020 shows that sexual frequency decreases as age increases especially in post-mid life partnerships. This is not to say sexual intimacy ends, but that over time most partners come to value other aspects of marriage such as emotional closeness and companionship, though physical affection is often still desired.

Nevertheless, emotional disconnect and sexlessness can occur hand-in-hand. The report details how many married men report having no desire for sex even when their female counterpart continues to do so.

This makes sexless marriages more prevalent in some partnerships, though overall statistically women and men report similar rates of sexless marriage.

How Many Couples Experience Intimacy Problems?

As statistics suggest, a good number of married couples report that they wish they were having more sex. A report in The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior concluded that a considerable percentage of couples have experience periods of less sexual activity throughout their marriages.

While it’s certainly true that there are many sexless marriages out there, sexless is far from the norm. Sexual activity naturally decreases over time as relationships deepen, though couples are often able to develop stronger, more satisfying emotional connections and varied intimacy that don’t rely on physical expression to sustain it.

These developments occur gradually so there is seldom a definitive start and end time when a couple goes sexless. If you are wondering whether this is something happening to you and your partner, take a look at our page of Signs A Marriage Is Sexless.

Emotional Distance and Intimacy Decline

While numbers alone can’t tell us the entire story, experts tend to agree that emotional distance plays a key role in the disappearance of sexual intimacy. One report, published in The Journal of Marriage and Family in 2021, explained how couples with strong emotional bonds reported significantly more satisfaction with their relationship regardless of their sexual frequency.

Partners who feel they are emotionally supported, cared for, and understood have greater chances of maintaining physical intimacy in the relationship. On the contrary, if your communication has become difficult and distant, sexual activity tends to decrease along with emotional intimacy.

Our page explaining the Sexless Marriage Effects explains how emotional distance can gradually reshape a relationship.

Are Sexless Marriages Always a Problem?

Contrary to what many think, a sexless marriage is not necessarily an unhappy one. There are certainly couples out there that prefer not to have frequent sex and still have very intimate, loving relationships.

The problem arises only when one or both partners feel like they are being rejected by the lack of sex, and feel that emotional intimacy is failing as a result. Many sexless marriages are very loving, devoted partnerships with minimal sexual interaction.

The statistics simply illustrate a decline in the number of people seeking sexual contact within marriage. Many have simply shifted focus, but others begin to fall into a gap. Take a look at our article that defines what a sexless marriage actually is, you may find it very helpful in explaining to your partner exactly what it means.

What the Statistics Really Tell Us

* It’s normal for many married couples to experience low sex drives and a decline in intimacy over the years.

* Contrary to belief, there are a multitude of sexless marriages in the United States (between 15 and 20%).

* Statistics show that these issues often aren’t due to specific sexual problems but rather develop gradually through small, insignificant changes in everyday communication and emotional connectivity within the marriage.

If you think your own relationship is beginning to follow this trend, you may want to read our article, “Signs A Marriage Is sexless.”

Can Intimacy Be Rebuilt?

These statistics, as frightening as they may seem at first glance, actually carry some good news. According to studies, couples who work on improving emotional intimacy and communication may be able to recapture their physical intimacy.

By strengthening a relationship emotionally, physical intimacy may re-emerge in the relationship once more. If you’re interested in learning more about how couples can save their intimacy issues, read our guide on “How to Rebuild Intimacy in a sexless marriage.”

Conclusion

Sexless marriage statistics highlight that the frequency of sexual activity diminishes for many couples, particularly as relationships age. Estimates of sexless marriages, which are generally defined as relationships that lack sex 10 or fewer times per year, range between 15-20% of marriages today.

However, statistics do not account for emotional intimacy levels within marriages, and there is hope for those who may be suffering from a sexless relationship as intimacy can be restored with patience and effective communication with a partner.

References

Recent research referenced in this article includes:

Archives of Sexual Behavior (2021) – Long-term trends in sexual frequency
Institute for Family Studies (2022) – Marriage and intimacy patterns
Journal of Sex Research (2020) – Age and sexual activity in relationships
Journal of Marriage and Family (2021) – Emotional connection and sexual satisfaction
National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior

Related Reading

About C.J. Taylor

C.J. Taylor focuses on the study of long-term relationship dynamics, with particular attention to how emotional and physical intimacy change over time. Their work centres on identifying recurring communication and behavioural patterns that lead to gradual disconnection in otherwise committed relationships.

Drawing on both lived experience and ongoing analysis of real relationship patterns, they present structured, research-aligned frameworks that help individuals understand—and practically address—loss of intimacy.

Start here: If you’re trying to understand why intimacy has changed, begin with Understanding the Communication Breakdown Loop—a clear explanation of the most common pattern underlying sexless marriages.